I’m watching my boy hang up his backpack and write his name in red marker on the easel
propped up outside his classroom door. Around the time he drops his Spider-Man lunch bag
into the big white basket, the lovely mom I’m chitchatting with mentions the daughter she lost
last Christmas.
I look at her beautifully pregnant belly and the toddler playing with his paci in the stroller and
her kindergartener with pretty blonde hair and pink bow skipping toward the playground. I look
at this mom who looks like she has it all together and never in a million years would I have
known.
Known the pain and grief and sorrow she has lived.
Never would I have known her full story.She’s still smiling as she talks about her second born and the light and joy the little girl was to
her family for nearly three years. She gently touches the life swelling within her and tells me
how her eldest is excited to have a sister again.
“Life goes on,” she says, “and it’s hard and I never imagined it would happen to us, but we are
so blessed by the time we had with her and the time we have now with these little ones.”
I want to weep right there in front of Room 3 and hug this woman whose name I can’t
remember.
I want to grab hold of my son with the missing front teeth and not let him go to the jump rope
and tricycle calling his name. I want to hug him forever and never forget the blessing of life.
The school bell rings, the yard whistle blows, and children freeze in mid-play motion.
My heart wants to freeze time—for me—yet somehow also turn back the clock and change its
course for this other mom’s broken heart. I can’t do either.
We walk together along the chain link fence, trampling pink blossoms fallen from my favorite
schoolyard tree, concrete sidewalk muddled with color. She shares more pieces of the story she
never expected to live.
“We know we will be with her again one day and there is so much hope in that. We miss her
beyond words…”
She pauses. Heart caught between the past and present.
“But there is beauty in who she was, beauty in her life and in her death. We are blessed in
both.”
I say goodbye at her car and keep traveling the sidewalk alone, passed manicured lawns and
then two turns toward home. I will my legs to keep moving as I choke back sobs.
Beauty in the brokenness.It’s one thing to talk about, write about. It’s another thing to live.
I thank God for the gift of this startling glimpse into another woman’s story. A glimpse of His
grace.
I’m almost home and I stop at a cluster of roses. One droops, near the end of its life. But the
morning light shines through.